MEDICAL DEFINITIONS

  • Benign:  What you be after you be eight.

  • Artery:  The study of paintings.

  • Bacteria:  Back door to cafeteria.

  • Barium:  What doctors do when patients die.

  • Cesarean Section: .A neighborhood in Rome.

  • Catscan:  Searching for kitty.

  • Cauterize:  Made eye contact with her.

  • Colic:  A sheep dog.

  • Coma:  A punctuation mark.

  • D & C:  Where Washington is.

  • Dilate:  To live long.

  • Enema:  Not a friend.

  • Fester:  Quicker than someone else.

  • Fibula:  A small lie.

  • Genital:  Non-Jewish person.

  • G. I. Series:  World Series of military baseball.

  • Hangnail:  What you hang your coat on.

  • Impotent:  Distinguished, well known.

  • Labor Pain:  Getting hurt at work.

  • Medical Staff:  A Doctor’s cane.

  • Morbid:  A higher offer than I bid.

  • Nitrates:  Cheaper than day.

  • Node:  Was aware of.

  • Outpatient:  A person who has fainted.

  • Pap Smear:  A fatherhood test.

  • Pelvis:  Second cousin to Elvis.

  • Post Operative:  A letter carrier.

  • Recovery Room:  Place to do upholstery.

  • Rectum:  Darn near killed him.

  • Secretion:  Hiding something.

  • Seizure:  Roman emperor.

  • Tablet:  A small table.

  • Terminal Illness:  Getting sick at the airport.

  • Tumor:  More than one.

  • Urine:  Opposite of you’re out.

  • Varicose:  Nearby, close by.

  • Vein:  Conceited